Feeling Guilty for Feeling Good

April 4, 2024

Share this article

There comes a day in every grief journey where you feel good. Oddly enough, feeling good can make a grieving person feel guilty. How does this happen? 

Sometimes a person who is mourning settles in with sad. Feeling sad becomes their new norm. So, when the day comes when they notice the bird’s song, or maybe the smell of bacon, or their heart is warmed by a grandchild’s giggle and they realize they are having a good day, it knocks them off balance. Feeling good feels, well, wrong. 

When that day comes, it’s best to take a deep breath, pat yourself on the back, and embrace feeling good. Grieving is work; you’ve earned this. Loving someone who has died doesn’t require the mourner to never be happy again. Good days and bad days are a normal part of life. It might help to think about the person you loved. They probably loved you back, right? How would they respond to you feeling good?

Another trigger for feeling guilty about feeling good can come when our loved one passed after a very painful illness or required care over a long period of time. In these cases, it’s normal to feel a sense of relief. Relief for them and relief for you. This “not sad enough” feeling can cause the mourner to question their feelings. Mourning is a mixed bag of feelings. There is never a right or wrong way to feel.

Accept that it’s ok to feel relief that suffering has ended and accept the pain of loss.  Loss of someone you shared a history with, someone you loved, someone who loved you. Try not to judge your feelings. Just feel. No guilt.

The mixed bag of feelings that comes with grieving also comes and goes. One day you are feeling really good, and it seems like you are over the hard part. And then bam!  You are crying again. Some people have described the grief journey like climbing up a greased pole. You are climbing to the top feeling better and better and then you slide back again. That’s normal. 

Embrace the good days. Watch for the things that may trigger a difficult day such as birthdays, anniversaries, and those special days for you and your loved one. Prepare for those days. Know that sad days will eventually become treasured, nostalgic days. And good days will become your normal again.

www.jerniganwarren.com

Jernigan-Warren Funeral Home has been serving the families of Fayetteville, North Carolina and surrounding communities since 1930. The funeral home serves families of all faiths with the highest quality funeral, memorial, burial, and cremation services. They are especially proud to serve veterans and members of the military community with respect and dignity. Find more information about the Jernigan-Warren Funeral Home and their services by visiting jerniganwarren.com.

Recent Posts

July 10, 2026
Summary • Funeral services typically include professional care, planning support, and coordination to help families honor loved ones with dignity. • According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), many services involve a visitation, ceremony, and opportunities for remembrance. • The Funeral Rule, enforced by the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), requires funeral homes to clearly outline available services through an itemized General Price List, ensuring transparency and understanding. • Families in Fayetteville may personalize services with music, photographs, or meaningful tributes that reflect their loved one’s life. What Do Funeral Services Include? Families in Fayetteville often ask what funeral services include and how each element supports remembrance and healing. According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), funeral services are designed to bring comfort, structure, and meaningful opportunities to honor a loved one’s life. All information provided reflects national guidance as of 2025. Funeral directors typically guide families through each step of the process. They may coordinate with clergy or celebrants, musicians, cemeteries, and other service providers while ensuring necessary documentation is completed. The Funeral Rule, enforced by the Federal Trade Commission, requires funeral homes to outline all available services through an itemized price list, known as the General Price List, ensuring transparency and understanding. Funeral services often include a visitation, gathering, or ceremony that may be religious, spiritual, or non-religious. These events allow family and friends to reflect, share memories, and support one another. The Funeral Consumers Alliance (FCA) highlights that such ceremonies play a meaningful role in honoring a life and fostering connection. Transportation and logistics typically include transfer from the place of death, use of a funeral coach, and coordination with a cemetery or crematory. Families may also receive assistance with filing death certificates, securing permits, or preparing obituary notices. Personalization is often a meaningful part of the experience. Families may choose music, photographs, readings, video tribtes, or keepsakes that reflect the individual's personality, values, and legacy. Frequently Asked Questions What are the main parts of a funeral service? Most funeral services include professional care, planning guidance, transportation, a visitation or ceremony, and assistance with legal or administrative documentation. Are funeral services customizable? Yes. Many families choose personalized elements such as music, readings, photographs, or video tributes to reflect their loved one’s unique life and traditions. What is the role of the funeral director? Funeral directors coordinate service details, guide families through important decisions, and ensure that legal and ceremonial requirements are handled with professionalism and care. Written for Jernigan-Warren Funeral Home, proudly serving families in Fayetteville with compassion and care. About Jernigan-Warren Funeral Home Jernigan-Warren Funeral Home, located at 545 Ramsey St, Fayetteville, NC 28301 , provides professional and compassionate funeral and cremation care for families throughout the community. For more information, call (910) 483-1331. www.jerniganwarren.com
June 5, 2026
Summary • Families can record or fund their funeral plans in advance to ease emotional and financial stress. • Many funeral homes offer prepaid arrangements held in trust or backed by insurance for protection. • Flexible payment plans may be available depending on state regulations and provider policies. • Planning ahead helps ensure personal wishes are honored and provides peace of mind. Can I Prepay or Preplan a Funeral? Families in Fayetteville often ask about the advantages of preplanning and prepaying for funeral arrangements . According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), preplanning allows individuals to record their choices in advance, reducing emotional and logistical stress for loved ones during difficult moments. Prepaying is an option for those who wish to set aside funds or pay for their funeral in advance. The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) notes that many prepaid funeral plans use trusts or insurance policies to safeguard funds until they are needed. This added protection can give families more confidence when choosing how to prepare. Guidance from AARP encourages families to ask important questions about how funds are held, what happens if they relocate, and how refunds or cancellations are handled. These details help families make informed decisions that match their needs and preferences. Payment Plans and Consumer Protections Not every family chooses to pay in full when preplanning . Many funeral homes may offer payment plans that allow costs to be spread out over time, making advance planning more manageable for a variety of budgets. North Carolina regulations and FTC standards are in place to help protect prepaid funds. These rules typically require that prepaid funds be placed into a trust or insured product to ensure they remain available when needed. Whether families choose to prepay, set up a payment plan, or simply record their wishes, preplanning can bring clarity, reassurance, and peace of mind. Frequently Asked Questions What’s the difference between preplanning and prepaying for a funeral? Preplanning involves documenting funeral or cremation preferences in advance, while prepaying sets aside or pays funds ahead of time to cover the cost of those future arrangements. Are prepaid funeral funds protected? Yes. The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) and state laws typically require prepaid funds to be placed in a trust or insurance product so they are safeguarded for their intended purpose. Can I make monthly payments for a funeral plan? Many funeral homes may offer monthly or flexible payment options depending on North Carolina regulations and the provider’s policies. Written for Jernigan-Warren Funeral Home, proudly serving families in Fayetteville with compassion and care. About Jernigan-Warren Funeral Home Jernigan-Warren Funeral Home supports families in Fayetteville, North Carolina with professional, compassionate funeral and cremation care. Located at 545 Ramsey St, Fayetteville, NC 28301 , the funeral home offers guidance with traditional services, cremation options, preplanning consultations, and information about payment choices so families can make confident decisions. For more information, families may call (910) 483-1331. www.jerniganwarren.com
Show More